Ah....tonight. To be honest, I'm not sure what this feeling is. I got out of the car and the tires smelled hot. Drove like an asshole all the way home. Hit 5,000 rpms on more than one occasion, pushing 65, 70 mph in a 35, 40. Intentionally missed the turn for home to drive in a circle with the radio cranked for just a little longer. I'm not pissed (the usual cause of such driving behavior). I'm fairly euphoric about being done. But I'm not...happy either. Had this weird conversation with the girlfriend of that boy (the 32 year old) from back in October (November?) about how he just told her two months ago (!) that we (he and I) had been dating for a month before she came along. Which is weird on so many levels. too many to get into at the moment. And I smell like someone else....like a boy's cologne....like I've been held very closely to someone else tonight, which didn't really happen...several hugs, but none lingering enough for someone else's cologne to wear off on my shirt...and there's that other boy, the "non-date boy" who treats his girlfriend like such an asshole...wow, was tonight really just a litany of the "boys" in my life? I hope not...it doesn't feel this way...perhaps water and sleep are in order and this will just become one more regrettable late-night post that gets deleted in the morning. Read it while it's here.