succumbing to peer pressure

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Migraines suck

For those who haven't been lucky enough to experience this particular pain, let me fill you in. It isn't just a headache on crack. Migraines are caused by constricting followed by expanding of the blood vessels in the brain, so sufferers are treated to a full on neurological attack, featuring partial loss of eyesite, numbness in the extremeties, and difficulty with speech. So, if you're like me, and prone to panic attacks, even recognizing the symptoms, the reptilian part of my brain usually manages to freak out momentarily before I can form the rational thought that no, I'm not going blind, just prepping for a migraine in about two hours. All of this is particularly fun when doing 80 mph on the interstate. (speaking of which, I ventured outside the perimeter for the first time today and those are some scary ass drivers)

Anyway, there are a myriad of possible triggers, one of which is stress, which ties in with the bit of introspection I was doing yesterday. We haven't even completed one full week of classes yet, and I'm already feeling pretty overwhelmed. I started to notice it last semester too - a higher than usual anxiety level associated with run of the mill weekly homework assignments. In general, in the past, I've always been pretty good at the school thing. I don't mean this in a bragging sort of way, I'm just saying there's a reason I prefer school to work - I'm good at the weird hours and time management and homework assignments and reading and papers and notes and organizational structure of school. And I know grad school is (obviously) harder and more taxing than anything else I've done before, but still, this is not cool. And, as far as I can tell, it's all in my head. The homework assignment I was stressing out about yesterday was completed this morning, a full 24 hours before it was due, and I know the two that are due next week will likewise get done, one way or another. So is this some sort of natural evolutionary thing, so that when it comes time to enter the real world we're ready for something new, burned out on school stress and ready for some new stress? And if so, aren't I little ahead of schedule? Whatever it is, I wish it would simmer down a bit.


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