succumbing to peer pressure

Sunday, January 06, 2008

Cashmere Mafia

I'm not sure how I feel about this.
“Look at what a man gives up to be with one of us,” she tells her girlfriends. “We make more money. We rise higher. We take up more space. We are as far from the idea of a wife he grew up with as it’s possible to be and still wear his ring and go by his last name.”
On the one hand, the show just isn't all that great (and egads, that title!), and the above is certainly no excuse for infidelity (as it sort of plays in the pilot), but on the other hand, the above is a pretty damn eloquent description of some of my fears. Sure, there are secure, progressive men out there, but they're still the minority. It's going to take another generation or so before relationships with a logical division of responsibilities are the norm.

Not that I think television is some great answer, but I'm wondering if with more characters like Miranda and Sarah et al we might at least have a few more conversations about the uncomfortable things that start happening when the female partner in a heterosexual relationship is more successful in terms of job/money/power. Things like being told 'You're too good for him.' Not that I even remotely agree with these sorts of labels, but how come it's ok for men to date 'down' (i.e., well-educated man with successful career dates less-educated stay-at-home type) but not vice versa? We were still students and people (friends!) had the balls to say that shit to me while I was dating Dan. It was always clear in our relationship that I was headed for a more (traditionally) lucrative career while he primarily wanted to draw comic books and design video games. And he was a way better cook that I am. Back in the day when we thought we'd get married, we agreed that I would be the primary breadwinner and he would be the primary homemaker/parent. It was an arrangement that made us happy. And made other people confused.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

While you know I love Sarah, I would also love to see more characters like Sarah who are married to male-versions of Sarah. I'm not disagreeing that this whole "dating down" concept is unfair, but I don't like the idea that if there is a strong woman, her ideal should be a househusband. I mean, it is way more complicated when both people work, but that's reality for a lot of families. And then maybe the conflict can come from somewhere other than a forced love triangle (on tv, I mean).

9:25 PM  

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