A tale of a condom purchase

So I was doing my weekly grocery shopping, at my local krogers, and as I wheeled my cart past the pharmacy I remembered, I'm out of condoms. I should pick up some more. The condoms, of course, are locked away in a cabinet. And the pharmacy was closed by now, so I set off to find someone to unlock the cabinet for me. After scouring most of the store I finally found someone in that familiar red shirt.

Me: Excuse me m'am, could you unlock the pharmacy cabinet for me?
Her: Nope.
Me: Um...ok...well, could you point me toward someone who could?
Her: blank stare. wanders off.
Me: Sputter.

So I try again, and flag down a cashier. Who then announces over the loudspeaker, Customer needs assistance at the pharmacy cabinet! I go back and stand near the cabinet, smiling and nodding at my fellow patrons. Hello, yes, I'm the slut trying to buy condoms. Hi, how's it going? I wait several minutes. No one shows up. I go back to the cashier, and she makes the announcement again. Finally, someone shows up, and I buy my box of condoms. Now I ask you, how many grown-ups would have managed to leave the store with condoms, nevermind awkward teenagers!

So here's my request - let's do a little survey. Get out there all you frank, sexually active people and buy some condoms at your local store. Report back on how easy/difficult it is. And if you have to ask more than one person, be loud and obnoxious!

Now, they claim the condoms are locked up because people steal them. Which, ok, sort of makes sense. But, at least at the stores where I shop, they're already set up with theft detection devices at the doors. So how hard could it be to add a little shoplifting dongle to the boxes of condoms?