So I tried the climbing wall for the first time today. And while I really liked the actual climbing, I sort of hate myself for wimping out so fast. I only went up in the harness twice, and while it's true that my hands were shaking by the time I came down, I should have just rested a bit and then gone back up. Not bailed and headed home. And I don't know if it's just another example of my weird self-consciousness lately, but I'm really cranky about it. Spent the whole walk home trying to justify myself to myself. I guess I was probably trying to justify myself to the other people at the climbing wall. But since when did I care what strangers thought of me? Why am I so genuinely upset and pissed at myself? It was just a trip to the gym. I can go tomorrow and try to do better. In the grand scheme of things, it's incredibly unimportant. I have this sinking suspicion that it's because climbing guys, apparently, are really cute. And that somehow I would have been less self-conscious if I'd had a girl belayer, or if the guy had been less cute. And I *really* don't want to be that girl. Perhaps that's why I'm so cranky.