Continuing the wedding debate...

So I have to confess, JP sort of has a point in comments - I've been thinking today, and taking my family baggage out of it, I've always been a supporter of people who do what they want for their weddings, insisting that it's their special day and no one else's. And skipping the service and having a hoity-toity black tie affair at the four seasons is very my brother. So while it is genuinely annoying for me, on balance, I have to say it makes sense for him.

So. Minus the family baggage, or perhaps just sort of minimizing down to one suitcase, here are the pros and cons:

Pros

• It would be fun - despite my grumbling, I love a wedding, and this one would be all fancy-schmancy and feature an open bar and tasty nibblins and would inevitably be a good time
• Again, despite my grumblings, it would be an excuse to buy a pretty dress. One I might not be able to afford, but still, pretty dress = rare shopping extravaganzaa
  
• I'd get to see my parents

Cons

• Stressful travel - the wedding is Saturday night, in DC, and at 8:30am Monday, west coast time, I have to give a conference presentation in California. That translates to a long day of travel on Sunday and not a lot of prep time for the conference
• Family baggage - I'm still working on my relationship with my brother, and while one of the bonuses of it being his wedding is that he'll probably be too preoccupied to spend much time with me, I will, inevitably, end up acting as if everything is ok, which is what drove me to several tearful phone calls to friends over xmas since I don't deal particularly well with my emotions.

Sigh. So there's that. What it will inevitably boil down to is will the combo of fun - (family + travel)*stress > family guilt? In other words, will it hurt more to go, or more to skip out?