succumbing to peer pressure

Saturday, September 13, 2008

I'm supposed to be doing something!

but motivation is at an all-time low. Last week I blamed it on being all pms-y and hormonal, this week it was a particularly grueling therapy session that left me weepy for a day. But eventually I have to suck it up and just get shit done. Today is supposed to be that day. The morning started out promising, churning out a good two hours or so of prep for my class next week. But now it's time to change gears to dissertation mode and I'm seriously incapable of focusing. I'm slowly coming to the realization that I'm burning out on my topic, which is nearly good timing, as burn out is a pretty good motivator to finish the fuck up, but I need to eek out a bit more work to cross that finish line. And thinking Big Thoughts lately has been a painfully slow process. And my usual methods just aren't cutting it - stepping back for a day or two to come back with a fresh look at the problem, hitting the gym regularly - none seem to be sweeping the detritus from my brain. And when I think about actually getting all this done by xmas I get a sick fluttery feeling in my chest.


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