succumbing to peer pressure

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Women...and men.

I have the good fortune to be friends and work with some amazing women. Amazing in any way that you care to define that word - smart, witty, funny, talented. This means, among other things, that we have excellent conversation about being this kind of woman at this point in time. The misfortune of being a woman in a generation in transition (is there any other kind?). The challenge of being a heterosexual woman at a time when society hasn't quite figured out where men fit if they aren't the primary member of a partnership in terms of money or power or fame. This certainly doesn't excuse the behavior of some men in the face of successful women (for example) but it seems worth acknowledging that society hasn't really figured out a place for men who bring something else to the relationship table besides breadwinning.

The thing is, it takes a particularly strong man to play that role - not only strong and comfortable enough in his own relationship, but strong and comfortable enough to stand up to literally daily questioning of what the hell he's doing in a relationship where a woman is the primary earner/has more career ambition/some other traditional measure of masculinity. What a shock that maybe she pays the bills and he cooks dinner and that works for them and how it works for them is none of your damn business. So shut the hell up already. Because it takes all kinds to make this society of ours tick, and when two people, against all odds, manage to find a way that works, we should be applauding rather than nit-picking.

Sunday, March 28, 2010