Ah....tonight. To be honest, I'm not sure what this feeling is. I got out of the car and the tires smelled hot. Drove like an asshole all the way home. Hit 5,000 rpms on more than one occasion, pushing 65, 70 mph in a 35, 40. Intentionally missed the turn for home to drive in a circle with the radio cranked for just a little longer. I'm not pissed (the usual cause of such driving behavior). I'm fairly euphoric about being done. But I'm not...happy either. Had this weird conversation with the girlfriend of that boy (the 32 year old) from back in October (November?) about how he just told her two months ago (!) that we (he and I) had been dating for a month before she came along. Which is weird on so many levels. too many to get into at the moment. And I smell like someone else....like a boy's cologne....like I've been held very closely to someone else tonight, which didn't really happen...several hugs, but none lingering enough for someone else's cologne to wear off on my shirt...and there's that other boy, the "non-date boy" who treats his girlfriend like such an asshole...wow, was tonight really just a litany of the "boys" in my life? I hope not...it doesn't feel this way...perhaps water and sleep are in order and this will just become one more regrettable late-night post that gets deleted in the morning. Read it while it's here.
Friday, May 07, 2004
Thursday, May 06, 2004
What he said
From Digby (via atrios):
"I'm once again struck by the moral surety of these religious Republicans who don't seem to be upset by the deviant behavior graphically shown in these pictures and who don't seem worried in the least about how they are going to explain it to their children. It seems like only yesterday that every other word from their mouths was "deplorable," "reprehensible," "despicable," "disgusting," and " "revolting," as they relayed their shock and horror at the stunning news of a 50 year old man having an affair with a young woman in his office. If I recall correctly, this was considered to be an act of such depravity that they didn't know how the nation could survive if the perpetrator wasn't removed from office.
But, somehow, pictures of a young soldier pointing gleefully to a naked, hooded prisoner forced to masturbate on camera only elicits a mild "disapproval." Anyone have some clues where I might find an explnation of this in Senator Inhofe's Baptist Bible or Freddie Barnes's Episcopal prayerbook, because I'm finding it awfully difficult to understand?"
busily pounding my head against my last theory homework of the semester, so don't have any of my own thoughts to add at this point...perhaps in another day or two when my brain recovers from sufficient statistics and other such nonsense.
Tuesday, May 04, 2004
So I'm making a new friend, and the more I learn about him the more I realize that he's pretty damaged goods. Which is fine. But the fact that that realization did not immediately make me want to take care of and/or fix him, to think that I'm the one who could do that, could undo past hurt and damages...well, I think that's a huge step for me. I have this tendency to collect troubled people. Mom used to call them my "lost puppies." And I don't mean that to imply that I didn't/don't care for these people. But learning how to initially like someone for a reason other than taking care of them is good for me. And, I would venture to guess, them as well.
How do you know it's springtime? Your cat deposits a dead baby bird on your doorstep. Ah well, I guess that means she's feeling better.
Monday, May 03, 2004
So I'm watching 10.5 (because that's what one does during finals week, one channel surfs between lame made-for-tv movies and the Real World-Road Rules Challenge) and I'm wondering why all natural disasters seem to be solved by the use of nuclear warheads. Asteroid? nuclear warheads. Earthquake? nuclear warheads. Don't these people consider contengincy plans?