As if walking around my empty apartment, double-checking that everything really is empty, and having this weird, snapshot-imagery-thing happen where I picture various moments that have occurred there over the last two years weren't hard enough, now I'm cleaning out my room back here at home. And what pile should I go through this afternoon but the one containing all my freshman year paperwork from Case. The first e-mail that Ahalya sent, back when we were trying to coordinate who would bring a fridge and who would bring a stereo. My freshman orientation packet (lord knows why I saved that). The collection I put together for my high school friends of our quotes and lame forwards about college life and saying goodbye and all sorts of sentimental, nostalgic crap. Brutal. In the very weird category, I also happened to find a several page story/note that apparently Josh and I wrote during math class. We had one fucked up relationship. And perhaps it's just because I've sort of omitted from my immediate memory bank most things that involve Josh, but I don't really remember writing this thing at all.
Anyway, sorry Jennings, but I guess the above is probably somewhat depressing....again. But I swear, I can be sentimental and nostalgic without truly feeling depressed. Anyway, on to other topics. Just to reiterate, it is really great to be home. I'm sure some of the greatness is due to the fact that it's simply nice not to be in limbo anymore. I keep forgetting that at 22 it's a little sad to tell people that I've moved back home. But it doesn't feel sad to me, and I know it's only for about 6 weeks, so I forget that other people don't know that and might think I've moved back home semi-permanently. Ah well. A lot of things about today were like coming home on breaks from undergrad - did three loads of laundry, had to beg Mom and Dad for spending cash (since I closed my checking account I no longer have an atm card, but I had used it too recently for them to cut me a check right there, so I have to wait for National City to mail me my balance...yeah, I'm sure that'll arrive real soon...stupid national city). Really looking forward to washing the car someday soon. Actually not hating cleaning my room as much as I had feared, though the whole project is pretty overwhelming. And of course, staying up late pecking away at this thing. But as I have clearly run out of interesting things to say (did I even start with a remotely interesting idea or have I just been rambling?) and no one is online to chat, it's probably about time to kick the cat off my bed, find a new place for all my wet laundry, and get some sleep. nighty-night kids.