succumbing to peer pressure

Thursday, February 24, 2005

So not fair! After talking with my uncle about crashing at his place sometime so I can check out SXSW (he lives conveniently close to 6th street in Austin and I was thinking next year I can afford to take a week off since I'll be (hopefully) dissertating more than taking classes). Well, I made the mistake of clicking over to the website to check out this year's lineup and find out that the festival exactly coincides with my spring break! I really, really can't go because I have to work so I can finish up my hours for the CDC so my life can go back to the normal level of craziness instead of the total sucking that it is now and I have to study for the two incredibly hard midterms I have immediately after spring break. Still. I wish I didn't know.

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Darlings - for those worried about my "impenetrable happiness" (see Carrie's comment below) - just wanted to let you know that tonight is a good night. It's true, I've succumbed to bouts of grumpiness and frustration a bit more often than usual lately, and will doubtlessly continue to do so in the future. But rest assured, these are interspersed with nights like last night, when I spent 5 lovely hours chilling with the boys (instead of the 2 hour break I had promised myself) and tonight, when the cloud lifts and I feel great. Thanks for noticing, and caring.

Also, before I forget again, C - re: my V, yes, of course. As the two people who have tried just as hard as I have to lose it, should something happen, I leave it in your trusted possession. Use, sell, enjoy! (though truly, I hope it never comes to that!)

Monday, February 21, 2005


So I got a lame voicemail from the boy this evening (he still has my SIGNED copy of Salman Rushdie's "Step Across This Line" so I made the mental note that if I hadn't heard from him in a month I should call and get my book back, so I left him voicemail on Friday)...anyway, right, he leaves this lame voicemail saying sorry he's been so busy and he's bad about calling people and just kept hoping that I would call him and blah blah blah. Wanker. Anyway. Because I'm not completely the "bigger person" I played this message for a few of my friends, to which Andy replied with a really sweet metaphor involving an episode of the Simpsons and The Suplicants. Have I mentioned lately how much I love my friends?

The Job

So, I interviewed today for another job. And I think I know that if I'm offered the position I should turn it down. But....well, here's the deal:

My interview was with the Carter Center. And on the plus side, I really want to work for the Carter Center, they do a lot of work that I really believe in and it would be a nice experience on the human rights side of things, and it would look fantastic to have both the CDC and the Carter Center on my resume.

On the down side, the fact of the matter is that I'm drowning this semester. Classes are really kicking my butt and I've been saying that it'll be a good thing when my CDC hours come to an end next month and free up some more of my time.

On the other hand, the Carter Center job, if I'm offered it, would pretty much be the equivalent number of hours (or less) as my CDC job now, so even though my schedule totally sucks now, I'm pretty much used to it, so what's the difference if it continues throughout the rest of the semester?

Back on the down side of things, if I'm offered the job, and my reply is, gee, thanks, but I've thought about it, and well, my schedule just doesn't really have room for another job right now, is that burning a bridge? Since I already went to the interview and talked to them about hours and schedules and whatnot? How bad would it be to turn down the job?

Just a refresher for those who don't breathlessly memorize my schedule: I'm taking 5 classes (one of which is a seminar, so that hardly counts), typical TA duties (teaching occasionally, much less often than last semester, office hours, grading, etc.; typically about 5 hours a week), sporadic work with the consulting center (anywhere from 0 to 5 hours a week), pro bono work on the human rights report card (more work to do in the push toward publication, but still only about 5 hours a week), and part-time at the CDC (12 hours a week). So, if the last thing was replaced with 10-15 hours a week analyzing data related to Trachoma, would I go insane? Or would it be worth the sacrifice?

At this point I'm sort of hoping they don't offer me this job, but instead call and ask me to work in the summer. That would be ideal.

Watch out for the bats. We'll miss you.

"There was no point in fighting -- on our side or theirs," he wrote. "We had all the momentum; we were riding the crest of a high and beautiful wave. So now, less than five years later, you can go up on a steep hill in Las Vegas and look West, and with the right kind of eyes you can almost see the high-water mark -- the place where the wave finally broke and rolled back."

Sunday, February 20, 2005

Bah. So I've been a total slacker all weekend and I'm not getting anything done and I'm just...very distracted. Don't get me wrong - the weekend has been fantastic. Just completely unproductive. And I finally pried myself off the boys' couch and turned down drinking beer and watching deleted scenes from Napoleon Dynamite to come to school and get some work done. And I'm sitting here staring at Matlab code and I can't make myself understand it or do the reading to understand or really do much of anything. After a weekend of sleeping and drinking and hanging out with friends shouldn't I be refreshed and ready to look at work again? Instead of just ready for more drinking and smoking and friend time? One month into the semester I have no excuse to be this burned out.