Had this somewhat spontaneous flash of "adult-hood-ness" today. (hey, if the president can make up words, so can I) Was standing in the kitchen, feeding the cat, when it occurred to me - this is mine. All this stuff. Belongs only to me. Ok, so I've lived here an awfully long time, and I've been "independent" for a long time too, to be just realizing this. But it's like all the hectic-ness and stress of finding a place and buying furniture and appliances (although that was pretty fun) and registering for classes and doing the whole school thing managed to overshadow the "wow, look at me, being an adult" thing. Really an adult. I've had moments of feeling grown-up, but those mostly feel like I'm playing house or something, pretending to be an adult. Living at Belmar was like that. I mean, it was completely awesome, but it was a lot more like, wow, why is someone letting me play house with my friends? Plus, we were sharing expenses and Mom and Dad were still supporting me. Now, when I pay rent, it comes from my paycheck. When I buy groceries, I'm spending my money. Sure, lots of people do this well before they turn 23, and I'm grateful that I didn't have
to do it before now. But now I'm having this moment. Like when I bought my car. It was the biggest, most expensive single item I had ever owned. Come to think of it, still is. And it was mind-blowing that this whole thing was mine. And now this apartment is mine. And this computer and desk and bed and shelves. Forgive me. I'm sure this sounds asinine and selfish and spoiled. Just needed to get it out there.
On a vaguely similarly adult-ish yet tangential topic - go here
and find out about your local March Meetup. The March for Women's Lives is happening April 25 in DC and it's REALLY IMPORTANT. Not just if you're a woman or a mother or plan on someday maybe having kids. But because you, yes you, happen to be a human being existing in this world, it matters. If there doesn't happen to be a bus departing your city or you have finals the next week and can't spare the day, then empty your couch cushions and make even the tiniest of donations or go to meetings and help get the word out to people who are able to go. Or if this isn't your particular cup of activist tea, go answer a rape hotline or volunteer at a women's shelter or JUST DO SOMETHING! I realize my recent bout of activities has left me more gung-ho than usual, but I have to be honest - the current state of my country scares the hell out of me. Not just because I happen to disagree with my president or my congress or my local government or because I'm worried about women's rights or gay rights or HUMAN RIGHTS. But because I feel like there are currently more bad things happening in the world than good. Because every day I find it harder to be hopeful and optimistic and idealistic. Because we can do better than this.