succumbing to peer pressure

Saturday, October 18, 2003

"I just wanted to let you know that I'm seeing someone else."

I don't want to be hurt or angry or anything...I just want to be me again

Friday, October 17, 2003

Got my belay certification today. So now Brad and I can go climbing anytime the wall's open. And climb we did. We may have only made it an hour and a half, but believe me when I say that being able to move my fingers on the keyboard is quite an accomplishment. Already planning trips to northern GA to camp and do some bouldering. Can't wait until I'm actually good enough at this sport to look like I have a clue what I'm doing. Meanwhile, I'll just have a lot of fun falling.

On a totally unrelated tangent, it's weird the particular neurons that Dave Matthews Band music causes to fire. I mean, I know that certain songs will always remind people of various events. But there's some visceral sort of emotional reaction that happens whenever I hear DMB. There are the specific memories too, like yesterday when I happened to catch the end of Crash on the radio - I'm back in the YMCA in Huntington, standing on the balance beam with Erica yelling at me to turn my awful music down. Or more generally, DMB often reminds me of the boy I had such a tremendous crush on back in ninth grade (he was the reason I started listening to dave in the first place). But what happens everytime, and what I think is interesting, is that I get this overall sense of...comfort...sort of like coming home again. There's plenty of other music out there that I love, but I can't think of any that has the same affect. And I can't really put my finger on why DMB music does it. I mean, I like the band, but I'm not exactly going to try to claim that they're the best thing out there, because that certainly isn't true. Must be some magical combination of notes...

Thursday, October 16, 2003

"Can I borrow your sweater? 'Cause I'm kind of cold...and you look really hot." That's right folks. Delivered with a straight face. Absurd...yet amusing.

Well, it's been a good, but long, day...a little tv on tape, then off to bed.

Monday, October 13, 2003

The Caribou Coffee near my place has a drive-through window. For some reason, that makes me really happy.

Sunday, October 12, 2003

Wow. Came to a hard truth today. That breaking up with Dan messed me up more than I acknowledged. And there was more to those three years of singleness in Cleveland. Not that there was something "wrong" with me, but that I really wasn't ready to like someone yet. And something about getting the hell out of Cleveland changed that. Turns out all this time I thought Chris was the one freaking out, it was really me. And that little shoulder bag I thought I was carrying around is actually a full-sized duffle.

Bah. Woke up this morning thinking too much. Not about the new boy specifically, more just about me. Realizing that I didn't really like the way I sounded last night led to a whole slew of other questions about myself...I'm already so sick of the sound of my own voice in my head I don't even want to get into it here. Guess I was just hoping that posting it might get it out of my brain for a while. In the words of Reen, I'm not usually like this...which brings me to a good point JL had - why am I not myself as a result of someone I barely know? And I don't think it's as a result of that...I think that just happened to be the....I dunno, trigger, or something. I think the new city and the new school and the new independence and (gasp) admitting to actually liking someone for the first time in perhaps 3 years are just messing with my brain. Let's hope it's very temporary.